So my son Asher is madly obsessed with his pacifier. He even named it, Aboo, yea. And I hate the stupid thing. We have been trying for almost a year to take it from him. So finally this weekend when he asked for it on the car ride home and my dear husband Steve couldnt find it in the abyss (what we call my diaper bag, I swear everything gets lost in there) I decided to tell him we left it at the beach. Well he still had one at home but it has the end snipped off to take away the sucking experience. He didnt like it but he didnt fuss too bad that night when trying to sleep because of how exhausted he was from a busy weekend.
So the next day we went to my mom's to hang out like we do often and I went to put him down for a nap. Well his pacifier there also has the end snipped off thanks to a conversation I had with her before we got there. This did not sit well with my little man. He cried and cried and cried. And me being the wonderful mother that I am thought he will cry it out and just go to sleep. Yea, well two hours later he was still crying, and I was getting very frustrated.
Here is where being the mom becomes hard. I know that he is tired, and not in his comfort zone with out that stupid sucking device. I also remembered that I read when taking away a pacifer it is ok for them to cry some because they have to learn to deal with some agony or when they become adults and are put in a similar situation (dealing with agony not a pacifier haha) they will not know how to deal with it. So at this point we have two frustrated people, Asher and myself, and if you guys dont know me they you dont know that I dont like to be wrong and I want to win this battle with the paci. And so for the 5th time I go in there telling him to sleep and he is screaming so to get his attention I clap my hands together and stomp my foot and say ASHER!!! Well this makes him hysterical and so I stop and give my little boy a huge. I tell him I am sorry that he is frustrated and that we can try taking a nap again tomorrow when he is in his own bed and his blankie. I keep hugging him and telling him how much I love him. And then I have to laugh and be a bit embarrassed when he goes up to my mom after I take him out of the room and he says "Mimi, mommy clap her hands and stomp her feet at Asher!"
If taking the pacifier away means he isnt going to take naps anymore what am I going to do? I know that it is selfish of me but his nap times are when I get to spend one on one time with Soren, who has decided that when Asher sleeps he wants to be awake. But also during this time I can get Soren down for a nap and just have my own quiet time, because I know when they wake up is when Steve gets home and dinner has to be fixed and baths are taken and then comes bed time followed by time spent with my husband, and then its bed time. I feel like as a mom we dont get much time to ourselves because dads are tired too when they get home after working all day and they just want to sit down too. And I dont have a room in the house where I can escape to to give my husband his own quiet time and let me have mine, so I decided to give him back his pacifier. I know that I will kick myself in the butt when braces time comes by and I am looking at the bills wondering how I could have prevented crooked teeth. But then maybe I will remember back to when I needed my own time and so I gave one of my favorite little boys a silly little plastic thing to put in his mouth and he would give me a big grin and say "Thank you mommy."
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