My Best Friend

I write so much about my children and myself but I dont ever get to talk about my best friend. My husband is the most amazing man in the world. I think he is the hottest man I have ever met in my entire life, and I dont mind telling anyone that whenever I'm describing him. I first saw Steve when I was in high school and his brother was giving him a tour of our school. I was so amazed by how hot he was that when they were walking towards me I ran away because I knew there was no way I would be able to talk to him. You would often find me in his brother's office (he was our youth pastor) just staring at a picture of him, and of course I would deny it if ever asked. The second time I saw him in person was at his brother's wedding, which he says I talked to him then but I am pretty sure I didn't. That was my senior year of college and life happened after that with me moving to NYC a year later. 

I had so much fun in New York, in fact Steve and I have talked about moving back there when the kids are older, but anyway something kept pulling me back to North Carolina. Right when I decided to move back I heard that Steve was moving to North Carolina too, and thought maybe my move back won't be so bad after all. After somewhat getting to at least talk to each other at a friends house and some witty texting we went on our first date. Fast forward three amazing weeks later and we were married. 

I am so blessed to have Steve as my husband, not only did God give me the man of my dreams but also gave me a loving father to my boys, a hard worker so that I can stay at home, and a man who loves God more than anyone I know. He is so kind and gentle with me, and so rough and tough and loving with his boys. He makes me laugh so hard even though to most he might seem quite or serious, and we have tons of funny inside jokes that get us laughing like kids at just the thought of them. He truly makes me feel so secure with our relationship and when I look in his eyes I know that he only loves me. Anytime we dress up I get that same funny feeling in my stomach I got all those years ago when I first saw him. I know I always have a goofy grin on my face and then he catches me and laughs at how silly I am. He completely accepts me for who I am, bad moods and all, and I do mean all because there is a lot. I really am the happiest lady on earth.

i love this man!

the picture i would stare at all the time, isnt he so hot

my best friend today :) still hot as ever

Lent

I hope everyone had a great Easter! I had a pretty good one myself, got to hear a great message, my dad took us out to my favorite place to eat (I seriously want to eat there everyday now), and we got to do a fun easter egg hunt with the boys.

This was the first year that I actually finished a full Lent without completely giving up on my fast, but I did a little something different this year. I knew being pregnant it would be really difficult to try and give something up considering my wants of food varied each day. I know I have other options of giving up music or TV but that mostly consists of children's stuff anyway and I dont know how much my kids would understand giving that up for 40 whole days, I also dont think my sanity could handle it either. This year I decided to add something into my life, I decided to read the bible every day for the 40 days. And not just read a chapter a day type thing I followed a Lent devotional on my ipod. 

The first few days were great, actually the whole thing was really great but there were times when I was so exhausted at the end of the day it was a struggle to hold my eyes open during those readings. I also had many nights where I was so sick on my stomach that the reading had to be doubled up on the following day which I felt bad about but I felt like God understood. The great thing that happened was I was really starting to understand scripture, which I have never really done before. Here is my big confession, I have never been a huge bible reader before. I mean sure I would try and read a chapter here and there but it usually ended up with me speed reading, not remembering what I had read, and mostly not trying to apply it to my life. But this time I was truly enjoying what I had read and I was reading christian commentaries about the scriptures that I was reading and it was so inspiring. 

This is something that is totally new to me and I am so hooked. I cant wait to start another devotional set and see where it takes me. So I hope your Lent went just as well and that you learned something about yourself too. And if you didnt do a Lent I encourage you to try one next year, see where God can take you. Here are some pictures of the boys from our easter egg hunt. I love these guys they are so cute :)

Can you tell that Soren was super excited about each egg he found? Big brother got most of them but I dont think he noticed.

Boy or Girl

I decided long before I got pregnant again that I did not want to know the sex of the baby. I have tons of reasons for doing this, I love the surprise, I don’t want to cry if its another boy, hearing about all the old wives tales on how to tell is fun to try instead of really knowing, I already have all the boy stuff I need so if it is another boy it doesn’t really matter anyway, and on and on. I think my biggest reason though is this is my last chance for a girl and I plan on hoping and praying as much as I can up until the delivery that this baby will be that nice surprise. Don’t get me wrong I love love LOVE my boys with all of my heart. There is something so special about both of them and I know that another little boy would bring me so much joy. I just really really really want a little girl.

My whole body feels like something is missing right now because I don’t have a girl. Yes girls are divas, dramatic, and will want all of my husbands attention but I don't care. Bring it on is what I say, I will take all of that for a little girl. Ok so maybe I am being a little dramatic myself, but I am ready and I think I can handle pretty much anything I mean I do have two boys and they keep me on my toes, what is a little princess going to do ;) My want for a little girl has even gone as far as following a book on how to choose the sex of your baby.

And I know, statistically speaking my chances of having a girl is only 20% and that girls do not run in my husbands family (my niece Ana is the first girl born in almost 40 years.) I also know that I cannot go by my pregnancies, because Asher and Soren were completely different from my morning sickness to heart rates. So as of now I am going to hold on to my hope of a little girl because the ring test said girl, the hair line test said girl, and a quiz I took said girl. I tried doing the nub theory but I cannot tell if its part of the leg or not so I am going to rule that one out, plus its only 75% accurate (and secretly I think it kinda says boy). I am also not going to go by instinct because deep down inside I think boy but that same instinct told me Soren was a girl and that Asher was too just because everyone said boy. So until October 24th we will just have to take educated guesses, except my husband, he is going to find out and not tell me. No matter what I say, I hope :)

My Big Guy

Tomorrow starts a new journey for myself and for Asher. This will be the first time EVER he will be going away without me. Since he was born I have only been a night maybe two away from him, and I am the one who has always done the going away. I mean yes he has stayed the night at my moms house quite a few times with Soren, but that was in the same town. This time my big guy is making the long journey with his dad, Uncle Doug, and cousin Cade to go visit their grandpa in PA!!!! I have so many emotions going through my head, I'm sad, I'm scared, I'm wondering how I am going to spend all of this semi-free time. I know most of this is the pregnancy hormones streaming through my veins (they haven't reared their ugly head too much but when they do whoa watch out.)

I seriously feel like overnight Asher will have grown up. My mind is racing about how I am going to feel when he leaves for college, geez I need to start thinking about now and not the future. Can you tell I am semi-freaking out here? Tonight when I had to discipline him I almost cried because my little boy is leaving me. I also stayed in his bed and snuggled with him longer than I should have because I won't get that time at night with him for 3 long days. He has absolutely no idea how emotional I am right now, but I will have a brave face tomorrow when I say see you in a few days. I will only cry when no one is looking, or I might just be a blubbering idiot. I really do love my little man so much.

And of course I haven't forgotten about how much I will miss my husband. I always feel like my much better half of me is missing. And I know I won't be able to sleep at night in the bed all by myself. I should have recorded his snoring so in the middle of the night I can punch my pillow man I will make in his place and say "babe your snoring roll over."

So for the next 3 days I will be completely lost, not knowing what to do with all my alone time with Soren, maybe he can finally learn how to say the alphabet on his own, he has been trying to hard. Here are some cute pictures of my guys I took for easter, enjoy!!!!