My life as I know it

My countdown is on, like literally I only have 4 weeks left and if this little person is anything like one of he/she’s older brothers it means an early arrival.  Asher came a little over 3 weeks early and Soren showed up 2 days early, so guessing when this baby will come is going to be fun. The next full moon is supposed to be October 12th so I am hoping for around then ha!

I have so many emotions going on right now and yes I can blame some on the hormones but most of them are just about the unexpected. I am more than excited and nervous about this labor. Both my previous labors were completely done in the hospital but this time I am going to stay at home as long as I can.  I am nervous about the pain and that I won't be strong enough to do this drug-free. I'm nervous about how the hospital will react to a natural birth, as well as the doctor who will be on rotation that day. 

I am more than excited to meet this little person inside of me. I'm ready to know if I really am having another boy (I'm 99% sure that is the case, and I am completely ok with that), or if a little girl is in my future, which I think scares me more than having another boy. I'm ready to see who this child looks like and how the older two will react. I'm more than ready to hold this child and snuggle with it as much as I can.  I'm ready to start our life as a family of 5.

I am totally not ready to see what this pregnancy has done to my body. I know that there is going to be a lot of hard work I am going to have to do to get my body back in shape. And this might sound superficial but I worked hard to be in shape and did nothing about it to keep it up while pregnant. I can only blame myself for this and trust me I do, but I am also trying to be realistic about what I can and cannot do. 

And so this is my life as I know it, full of nervousness, fear, excitment, anxious waiting, and so much joy.  Everyday I look at my boys in such awe loving them more and more and I can't wait to share that love with one more little person.