ITS OFFICIAL!!! IT'S A.....

BABY!!! I have absolutely not a clue to what I am having. And I know that was pretty cruel and I apologize, I just have to have a little fun with this. Today was my ultrasound appointment and I was sooo stinking nervous. For some reason I was so completely worried about the health of the baby which has never happened with the other two, so of course I didn't feel like I slept at all last night. The baby is great everything looked good. I told the tech right off that I didn't want to know what I was having and that she could tell my husband. 


So I didn't get to see the baby at first because she wanted to check out the bladder and kidneys first and make sure that was ok. After she did that she typed it on the screen what the sex was (she was very sneaky too because I was listening to her type) showed Steve (who by the way has an incredible poker face) and quickly erased it and started to show me the baby. What a cute profile this little one had, the perfect nose and lips, he/she totally looks like me :) It was also amazing to see all the bones and how perfect they looked, the heart rate was a healthy 153, and I could see the heart and stomach. I will post pictures soon!


After that was over with I got to see the dr who was very nice about my weight gain (ugh a whole other story), and he almost told me what I was having. They werent supposed to put it in my chart and did anyway. So near miss number 1 was averted. 


I really think its funny I have no clue what I am having and some of my friends do. I also feel like most of them are going to avoid me like the black plague so they don't slip up and reveal what it is. I have also totally been trying to read into all of Steve's conversations with me as well so he kind of feels like he cannot talk to me either. So I currently have 22 more weeks before I have friends speaking to me again as well as family members and my husband. I sure will miss everyone. Maybe this baby will be early too :)


Oh yea, the boys also got to go see the baby. Asher was confused on the way there because he thought it wasn't coming until after his birthday. He also told me he could tell it was a boy which was what he didn't want since he already had one named Soren (who is also asking for a girwl). I kind of freaked out for a moment wondering if he could read, but then he said it could be a girl he just couldn't tell. My kids are so funny!

Emotional Day

I feel like I am a pretty tough person. I have never really held back when I feel like I need to voice my opinion and even the times when I don't feel like it is needed. I don't get very emotional pretty much ever, in fact it usually takes about two months worth of build up for me to even break down and cry. But like all women I can be down right bratty and catty, when I feel like I need to be. There are a few things that really get to me though, seeing a baby be born, seeing someone commit their lives to Christ, seeing a wedding, and praise and worship music. During any of the above things you will more than likely seeing me about to ball my eyes out, and if I am in private I am a total baby. Oh yes I forgot to mention, being pregnant this time around has made me a total basket case, not kidding.

Today I decided to get out all the boys instruments and bust out a jam to a station on Pandora. Instead of our normal Jack Johnson, Eddie Vedder, Counting Crows, or Damien Rice station I thought we should try and find some kids praise and worship music. As sad as this sounds it actually took me a good 30 minutes of googling and looking up songs on Itunes to find some songs to jam out to. Our first song had a fast tempo and we were able to dance and sing and jump up and down singing the B-I-B-L-E. The second song almost had me crying like a baby. I have never heard Amazing Grace sound sweeter than today with a bunch of children singing it. I know I got a few strange looks from the boys as I was wiping the tears from my eyes and trying to sing my heart out (I sound like a strangled cat trying to sing its funny), but that song really touched my heart. It was also just as sweet seeing the boys trying to sing along even though they didn't know the words and praising God in their own way. So that started my emotional day today, and yes I get a little tear in my eye thinking back to that song. 

Hope you guys have had a great Monday.

Beth

23 Weeks to go

This pregnancy has been more than challenging for me. It started off OK with me just being tired, then I hit the 6 week mark and it all came tumbling down. I got hit with some major morning sickness which ended up being all day sickness including waking up in the middle of the night with the room spinning and me trying to fall back asleep. I would have been able to handle this better except for the two small children I have who were always at my feet wanting something so instead of laying there and being miserable I had to force myself to keep going. I kept looking forward to that 12 week mark where they said it would all go away...it didn't.  Fast forward to week 17 which is now and I am still feeling somewhat miserable. I am still sick, I have to pee about 8 times a night, sleep is so miserable for me, I feel as huge as a house, and I already feel like I have gained too much weight, oh and did I mention that I am beyond cranky?

 I know this is a time when I am supposed to feel pretty and glowing...eh more like I don't understand where all this back fat came from and is that another stretch mark? And I don't mean to write this blog for a pity party, I just need a place to vent. 

So now for the great things that are happening, Steve gets to find out what we are having next week, the baby is kicking a lot lately, and the boys love to come up and kiss my belly and say hi to the baby. I'm still so moody though, ready for those happiness hormones to kick in. Happy Wednesday friends :)

Strong Women

Her being sassy!

Meet my Granny. Born Mary Carolyn the  youngest of six kids in 1933 in Georgia, a real southern peach. Some of the major things happening that year include Hitler coming into rule, prohibition ending, Hoover becoming president, Albert Einstein coming to America as a refugee from Germany, and most of the country was trying to deal with the Great Depression. My Granny has become a huge symbol of strength for me. She married my grandfather at a young age and got pregnant right away. Six children later (one who died still-born) she had to raise her children with a very selfish husband who was never there. Eventually the two got divorced, and then secretly married, and then separated again and there is no doubt in my mind that he is her one true love. And while I won't go into everything that she has had to deal with in him as a husband I am extremely amazed she has turned out to be the lady she has. Out of her five remaining kids she totally had her hands full. My aunt Martha seemed like an angel on the outside, but she secretly tortured my mom to death, my mom was a little hellion in her own way hanging out with all her boys cousins, she always got in a lot of trouble. I think my uncle Huey was pretty calm but my uncle Mark has been on drugs and alcohol most of his life, and the baby my uncle Travis has the biggest heart and a mouth to match. They all fight like cats and dogs with each other, but if one is in trouble they all have each others backs. 

My Granny is truly one of the sweetest ladies I have ever know, and although she never had any money she was not short on making sure we had full stomachs and lots of cakes to eat on when we came to visit. I really got to know her about 5 years ago when she made a huge trip up to NYC to come see me. She was the cutest little lady walking around trying to charm everyone with her sweet southern talk. She loves her grandkids all nine of us and she loves her great grandkids even more there are almost 8 of them. I love this lady so much, I hate that she is so far away from me and getting older. But she loves God with all of her heart so I know we will always have eternity together.

Isn't she amazing!

Meet my mother, Theresa Faye. She was born in Miami the second child of six in 1951. Some of the fun things I found that happened that year was The Catcher in the Rye is first published, I love Lucy makes its television debut, and Audrey Hepburn stars in Gigi. There was also a lot of nuclear testing that year for some reason.

My mother had a tough childhood, dealing with a father who was never there but worked them to death when he was and took their money when they got paid. She also had a sister that she loved but felt like was the favorite of the family and three young brothers that she felt like she needed to always bail out of trouble. She moved out of the house at age 18 to try and escape it and married her high school sweetheart. He turned out to be an alcoholic who was having an affair with her best friend. My mom decided to stay with him and one Saturday night he asked Christ to come into his life only for him to die the next afternoon. She was about 5 months pregnant with a little boy who she lost because of the grief. A friend talked her into going into college where she meet my dad (yay!) and they got married not too long after meeting.

My mom is the second strongest woman I know. She has had to deal with so much and is still a sane person. Being married to my father hasn't been the easiest for her either and although they love each other very much they too have had their battles. She has taught me so many things, like how to be a strong woman, to stand up for what I believe in, and to stand up for others. To help those in need even if I have to give up so much of what I have because they need it more. She taught me to love God with all of my heart, and even though things don't always go my way or I won't always understand what answers He gives us to never give up on Him. I have been truly blessed to have her as my mother, and although I frustrate her more than anything she still helps me out all the time. I love you MOM!

so cute!

And there is me, Elizabeth Caroline. The only child born in the fabulous 1980's in Tennessee.  During this year the summer Olympics are boycotted in Moscow, Pac Man is released, CNN is launched and Ronald Reagan becomes president, a dingo takes a baby, everyone gets to figure out the long awaited question of who shot JR, and sadly John Lennon is murdered. 

I had a great childhood, and although there is plenty I don't remember I always felt loved and very happy. Even my crazy teen years didn't leave too much of a scar on me, I had a great mom who would always listen and help me work things out. And even though I didn't always want the advice she always had something insightful to say. I have definitely had my moments where I have had to learn to become a strong woman myself, but I am glad that I didn't have to go through what my mom and granny went though. I only hope my kids will think I am a great mommy one day like I think those two ladies are. I still have a lot of learning to do. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!



baby bump already showing!



Parenthood

Who would have thought a little more than 4 years ago I would start my journey as a mother? For those of you who knew me best I imagine lots of laughter when just the thought of it would come up. I was totally not the mommy type, my interests being where I worked, what I wore, what friends I was going to hang out with that weekend,and where was the next fun place I could move to. And if I am completely honest about it I was extremely immature, bills being paid late, going to work late, bounced checks, the list goes on. And then after almost 2 full months of being married I saw those two little pink lines...wow! I won't even repeat what I screamed for a good full two minutes after, and when I called Steve I was close to hysterical. Then almost 8 months later (Asher was three weeks early) came this screaming, screaming bundle of joy. And that little bundle kept screaming night and day for the next three months. I did lots of crying with him during this time and didn't know if I would make it. Then something magical happened, it all stopped and I had this smiling child who would make my heart swell every time I looked at him.

Being a mommy has been one of the best things that could have happened in my life, besides being married to my wonderful husband. I love having kids, these little mini versions of myself and my husband are so great. I would love to have so many more just to see how many variations of ourselves we can get. It is so amazing to me how these two boys came from the same parents and are yet so completely different. These boys bring so much joy into my life, and yes they are really tough to deal with at times, times when I don't know how I will make it through the day but in the end it is all worth it. To see them look at me with this insane amount of love can bring me to tears every time that someone  loves me that much. Of course I hold back those tears so people don't think I'm crazy but I love those two little guys to the moon and back. I can't wait to meet this next baby to start this crazy time of sleepless nights and even crazier days all over again. I just hope that he/she (please be a she haha) is laid back, I could use a little of that now. 


Hope you guys have a great week, give your mom lots of hugs when you see her, you know this is totally how she feels about you.