I Like Rules

I know I know I am a huge dork, but I really do like to follow the rules. I dont know how this started because as far as I can remember I was always trying to break the rules and see how far I could push it with my parents, teachers, principals, basically anyone in charge. But sometime after college I decided to become a rule follower. Maybe it had to do with the job that I had. Being a manager at Abercrombie and Fitch you quickly learn to play by their rules or have hell to pay. I liked my job, I dont know why but I did. I worked like 80 hour weeks and spent all my free time sleeping, sometimes sleeping in the store so I could get more work done instead of going home in between shifts. Even though the rules were horrible I was convinced that I wanted to work for them forever. So somewhere along the way I decided that all rules needed to be followed and it just kinda stuck.
So now being a mom I can tell you that I have poured over books, reading about how children should be raised, how often they need to take naps, what kind of food to give them so they will eat healthy and like it, religiously gone to check ups and followed all the immunizations that are recommended. If something happens that I dont know how to deal with, my sons nurse is the first person I call (after consulting with the hubbie of course). The poor lady, she has talked to me so much on the phone that when I call now she knows my voice. So far I have been successful at getting my children to follow the RULES ACCORDING TO MOMMY. Steve also follows them because he has seen my bad side and likes to humor me (I love you Steve!!!!).
Well this week has thrown me for a loop. All of the sudden Asher has decided he doesnt like naps anymore even though his pediatrician said he is too young to quit taking naps (wait this is breaking a doctors rule!!!). I thought I could win by taking the paci away which is what I let him have almost as a bribe so he would take a nap expecting him to scream and cry for it and then I would give it back and he would take a nap. We have tried taking it away a few times before and it seems like he just holds on to it even more so but not this time, he is just done with that too. I am not ready for no nap days, I need my break my quiet time, and my nap too. And it isnt like it is in any book what to do when your child quits taking naps but is cranky most of the day because they are sleep deprived and how to get them to sleep even though they dont want to. And what excuse do I use to call the doctor and see if this is really ok. So I am stumped, my poor little man pretty much passes out in the bed on contact with his pillow at night because he is so tired, and I have been doing the same. And the thing I have had to learn this week which is so hard for me because not only do I enjoy following the rules, I am kind of OCD when it comes to enforcing rules, is that my kid is not going to follow the rules.
So no matter how mad I get or upset, my little man is marching to the beat of his own drum. And I can try all I want to change that, but then I look and see that I am not letting him be himself. The whole reason I fought so hard against all rules was because it didnt let me be me. It didnt mean I was a bad person because I thought so many rules were stupid, I just didnt think they needed to apply to me because I rarely got in trouble (yes I the trouble maker was also the goodie two shoes). And now I have to let my son break some rules, and even though I would rather him break another rule in the HOW TO LET CHILDREN GROW UP BOOK, I will settle on this one.

P.S. you guys can all thank my husband for most of the grammer errors being corrected!!!

Ahhh life.....

So I am sorry that it has taken me a while to get back on here. Things have been quite hectic in the Witherup household. Steve is working on his master during the day and has the computer with him. Then when he gets home we both spend out time with two little boys that when I do get the small chance to get online I am on for like 5 mins and then I am out. But to catch everyone on what is happening....Asher had a 2nd birthday this month. This little man, I am so amazed at how smart he is, seriously that is not just a mom saying that. Even his pediatrician said he was impressed that he could already count backwards from 10 to 1. From what I have read most kids dont understand numbers until they are like 3 or 4. So I am hoping we have a genius on our hands, how amazing would that make us feel? And I of course would like to take all of the credit for it ha!!! But he had a great time eating cake and ice cream and opening presents. He cracked us all up because before he even got to the present he had his mouth wide open with suprise. And he has also done a great job at being a big brother. I am sure it isnt easy trying to share the attention with someone else, and I can say that because I truely dont know, I had my parents all to myself, but he has done such a great job. And Soren is such a good baby. It is amazing to me how they both come from Steve and myself and yet be opposites of each other. Asher had horrible colic and Soren is so gentle. Asher has also decided to be a daddys boy, every morning he wakes up yelling "Daddy, Asher all done in bed!!!" And heaven forbid I go in there to get him all he wants is his daddy. So that is it for now, will be better at this I promise.

Oh yes, and please pray for Steve to get a job he likes....well to just get a job right now woud be great too!!!

being a mom is hard

So my son Asher is madly obsessed with his pacifier. He even named it, Aboo, yea. And I hate the stupid thing. We have been trying for almost a year to take it from him. So finally this weekend when he asked for it on the car ride home and my dear husband Steve couldnt find it in the abyss (what we call my diaper bag, I swear everything gets lost in there) I decided to tell him we left it at the beach. Well he still had one at home but it has the end snipped off to take away the sucking experience. He didnt like it but he didnt fuss too bad that night when trying to sleep because of how exhausted he was from a busy weekend.

So the next day we went to my mom's to hang out like we do often and I went to put him down for a nap. Well his pacifier there also has the end snipped off thanks to a conversation I had with her before we got there. This did not sit well with my little man. He cried and cried and cried. And me being the wonderful mother that I am thought he will cry it out and just go to sleep. Yea, well two hours later he was still crying, and I was getting very frustrated.

Here is where being the mom becomes hard. I know that he is tired, and not in his comfort zone with out that stupid sucking device. I also remembered that I read when taking away a pacifer it is ok for them to cry some because they have to learn to deal with some agony or when they become adults and are put in a similar situation (dealing with agony not a pacifier haha) they will not know how to deal with it. So at this point we have two frustrated people, Asher and myself, and if you guys dont know me they you dont know that I dont like to be wrong and I want to win this battle with the paci. And so for the 5th time I go in there telling him to sleep and he is screaming so to get his attention I clap my hands together and stomp my foot and say ASHER!!! Well this makes him hysterical and so I stop and give my little boy a huge. I tell him I am sorry that he is frustrated and that we can try taking a nap again tomorrow when he is in his own bed and his blankie. I keep hugging him and telling him how much I love him. And then I have to laugh and be a bit embarrassed when he goes up to my mom after I take him out of the room and he says "Mimi, mommy clap her hands and stomp her feet at Asher!"

If taking the pacifier away means he isnt going to take naps anymore what am I going to do? I know that it is selfish of me but his nap times are when I get to spend one on one time with Soren, who has decided that when Asher sleeps he wants to be awake. But also during this time I can get Soren down for a nap and just have my own quiet time, because I know when they wake up is when Steve gets home and dinner has to be fixed and baths are taken and then comes bed time followed by time spent with my husband, and then its bed time. I feel like as a mom we dont get much time to ourselves because dads are tired too when they get home after working all day and they just want to sit down too. And I dont have a room in the house where I can escape to to give my husband his own quiet time and let me have mine, so I decided to give him back his pacifier. I know that I will kick myself in the butt when braces time comes by and I am looking at the bills wondering how I could have prevented crooked teeth. But then maybe I will remember back to when I needed my own time and so I gave one of my favorite little boys a silly little plastic thing to put in his mouth and he would give me a big grin and say "Thank you mommy."

A Toast To Amanda and Dean

So I went to one of my greatest friends wedding this weekend in Wilmington. How great it was to be a part of that sweet sweet wedding, and I am a huge sucker for weddings let me tell you, most of them make me cry. It was done so nicely, on the beach in the afternoon and then a wonderful party downtown. I had never met Amanda's parents before even though I have known her forever and I still didnt get to meet them that night, but I really enjoyed what her father said in the toast to them and so I wanted to share it with all of you. He started off talking about the sign on the beach at the wedding. A very simple sign with old wood and on it was just painted Amanda and Dean's Wedding. He talked about while painting that sign he realized that he was painting the same letters over within each name, except for two. And both the bride and the groom contributed one of those letters, Amanda had the M and Dean had the E. He then gave them the wooden letters and told them to hold them up for everyone to see. He said with getting married you were giving up the ME. We all got a laugh out of that one because its so true, when we do get married we each give up some of me to be with the other, and I said some, not all of it, we have to remember why we married each other in the first place. Then he asked Amanda to turn her letter upside down and for us to look to see what it spelled, WE, and that was what they were gaining by getting married. I absolutely loved that!!! One of the best parts of getting married is getting that WE, the person who we come home to everyday, we fall asleep beside at night, the one that we get to share all of our hopes and dreams, passions, everything with. I love being a WE, and realizing that all of the things I worried about with just being a ME were a lot of times silly. And so tonight before I fall asleep with my other half of WE I would just like for everyone else who is reading this and has that someone special to think about what all you have gained becoming a WE and to be happy for what you lost as a ME. Here is to you Amanda and Dean, I hope you guys have the best life together, and I cant wait to see how your WE developes.

Dont Laugh at My Title ha!!!

So in coming up with doing a blog I never thought that I would have to name it. I have no clue what made me think that but I did, and in trying to be witty with my thoughts and trying to hurry with this as I dont have much time when both kids are asleep I thought of one of my favorite programs in high school and decided that the name of that show was perfect for me. I dont know if any of you guys watched that show but I absolutely LOVED it!!! I looked identical to the main character (at least that is what everyone told me), thought a lot like her, and was madly in love with Jordan Catalino myself (who wasnt right?). So here is my life now, my thoughts, my dreams, my dislikes, my rants and rages. I hope you enjoy what you read.
More to come later!!!